cokeandwhiskey | Boy, the way you blowing up my phone won't make me put my clothes on faster.

How is Jesus camp going?

By "Jesus camp" I assume you mean Candee Iron Cove., where, as I'm sure you're aware, I'm chaperoning this year. You should really be careful about how you phra

se your texts, Dirk, if I were someone else who didn't know you and your particular sense of humor I might have been offended by your offhanded, disrespectful i

nquiry. Furthermore, making the implication that Jesus is our only focus is undermining our goal to teach children about accepting the faith. Though, with that

all said, I'm doing fine, I've been writing you a letter but texting is faster in situations where I'm able to respond to you immediately. Imagine if I weren't

in a rush right now, honestly...

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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.

O)(! W)(ale t)(en, I t)(ink I feel a little B-ETA already! But Dave you )(ave NO ID---EA )(ow awful today was!!! 38(
I t)(ink I could reely use t)(e pick-me-up, so pick me up? 38D

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2top 2endiing me battle2hiip coordiinate2 and get back here 2o ii can 2uck your diick

sol for the last fuckin time its CODE you piece a shit
wwhatevver it doesnt matter anymore youvve completely failed at graspin wwhat i wwas evven tryin to get through to you
it wwas so fuckin obvvious
B-10 wwas CLEARLY "BIO" wwhich is wwhere ivve been since i had some L-4 B-2 to finish
thats "LABS" if you didnt manage to catch that
im savvin this text as proof you wwere the one to offer to suck me off so dont evven THINK about backin out
you could come here you knoww im the only one left

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My mother just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.

Your Fake? Your Fake What Exactly Wait No I Remember
Rose
I Thought You Were Going To Get Rid Of That Thing
Giving It To Your Mother Was Really The Worst Idea

Edited 2013-03-30 05:05 (UTC)

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[It's been two months since Kankri temporarily teamed up with Dirk and that...incident, and, as such, has been two months Kankri's been fidgety about getting at all intimate with his bulge. Two months more of abstaining himself during two collection weeks. He's feeling the familiar pressure in his abdomen, pressing and hard and he gingerly prods at himself to test for...he's not sure, but he remembers Dirk doing it before he, well, relieved him.]

[He's honestly been scared of being that blocked again, and after doing more research and actually taking it to heart, he's come to terms that he'll be fine if only does this during collection week and that is it. It's a purely hygienic, bodily thing every troll ought to take care of. He just has one big problem:]

[He has no idea what he's doing.]

[So Kankri is sitting in the device humans call a "bathtub," pants off, Porrim preoccupied elsewhere, door locked, and his phone in his hand, pressed to his ear while he listens to the dial tone. His face is flushed a deep red, but he's confident he'll sound calm enough to not be obviously wound up. He just hopes Dirk picks up soon.]

[Dirk is flipping through a packet of information he's been given by one of his contacts. The Makaras are fucking with the drug trade. For the third time this year. In short, he has a lot of murders to examine.]

[And he'd probably work until morning, without stopping to do much of anything, except that his phone is ringing. He glances at the screen. Kankri.]

[He picks up the phone.]

We got an emergency?

[Because that's the major reason why Kankri calls him. Well, the major reason why Kankri calls him when it's not early in the morning. They really need to stop having discussions about work at 10am. Dirk likes to be asleep at 10am.]

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insuffera6le - 2013-03-30 04:11 (UTC) - Expand

A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.

NICE ONE!
vwonder how hard that lady wvould havwe hit you if you didn't get stopped, bet next time id see you youd hawve a black eye or something wvhaddya say?
hovw havwe you not been fired yet, seriously.

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I FOUND THREE VICADIN AND A PINT OF FIREBALL WITH THE NOTE: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, DRINK ME. UNDER THEIR FUCKING SINK. SO YEAH. I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SISTER.

woah there friend whose sink are you finding that shit under, sure as hell ain't mine

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his dick got so hard in his pants that it broke his zipper, it was the hottest thing i've ever seen

shit i was trying to text that to rose

so i might be talking to my sister about us making out last night

From: Hipster Boyfriend Dave (1/1)

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So are we doing the stream tonight or not? You're an hour late and we still have to sync up our connections!

sorry sorry syrus got stuck in the downstairs bathroom again

not yet!!
we went shopping for new towels
i caught the old ones on fire btw
but what's wrong with the comments?
more hate for your hair cut? :\

Dave's friend from school, right?
The one with the stars and stripes bag?

TO: Kankri Vantas

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To: Feffles McAngelfish

From: DAV-E DAV-E DAV-E 2coolforSCHOOL

To: Douchebag

From: I Hate You

To: Kanaya

From: Rose

CALLING... Dirk Strider

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To: cro

From: faggot

To: STRIDER

From: vantas