hesthedj: (content)

TO: Kankri Vantas

[personal profile] hesthedj 2013-03-30 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
How is Jesus camp going?
knightofcool: (oh yeah baby)

To: Feffles McAngelfish

[personal profile] knightofcool 2013-03-30 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
lii2p: (grumpy)

To: Douchebag

[personal profile] lii2p 2013-03-30 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
2top 2endiing me battle2hiip coordiinate2 and get back here 2o ii can 2uck your diick
knittingneedles: (WHAT)

To: Kanaya

[personal profile] knittingneedles 2013-03-30 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
My mother just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
insuffera6le: (pic#5261189)

CALLING... Dirk Strider

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
[It's been two months since Kankri temporarily teamed up with Dirk and that...incident, and, as such, has been two months Kankri's been fidgety about getting at all intimate with his bulge. Two months more of abstaining himself during two collection weeks. He's feeling the familiar pressure in his abdomen, pressing and hard and he gingerly prods at himself to test for...he's not sure, but he remembers Dirk doing it before he, well, relieved him.]

[He's honestly been scared of being that blocked again, and after doing more research and actually taking it to heart, he's come to terms that he'll be fine if only does this during collection week and that is it. It's a purely hygienic, bodily thing every troll ought to take care of. He just has one big problem:]

[He has no idea what he's doing.]

[So Kankri is sitting in the device humans call a "bathtub," pants off, Porrim preoccupied elsewhere, door locked, and his phone in his hand, pressed to his ear while he listens to the dial tone. His face is flushed a deep red, but he's confident he'll sound calm enough to not be obviously wound up. He just hopes Dirk picks up soon.]
mitunaoftroy: (chill)

To: cro

[personal profile] mitunaoftroy 2013-03-30 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
romcom: (dot dot dot)

To: STRIDER

[personal profile] romcom 2013-03-30 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
I FOUND THREE VICADIN AND A PINT OF FIREBALL WITH THE NOTE: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, DRINK ME. UNDER THEIR FUCKING SINK. SO YEAH. I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SISTER.
hesthedj: (curious)

[personal profile] hesthedj 2013-03-30 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Dirk is flipping through a packet of information he's been given by one of his contacts. The Makaras are fucking with the drug trade. For the third time this year. In short, he has a lot of murders to examine.]

[And he'd probably work until morning, without stopping to do much of anything, except that his phone is ringing. He glances at the screen. Kankri.]

[He picks up the phone.]


We got an emergency?

[Because that's the major reason why Kankri calls him. Well, the major reason why Kankri calls him when it's not early in the morning. They really need to stop having discussions about work at 10am. Dirk likes to be asleep at 10am.]
insuffera6le: (pic#5261194)

(1/5)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
By "Jesus camp" I assume you mean Candee Iron Cove., where, as I'm sure you're aware, I'm chaperoning this year. You should really be careful about how you phra
insuffera6le: (pic#5261194)

(2/5)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
se your texts, Dirk, if I were someone else who didn't know you and your particular sense of humor I might have been offended by your offhanded, disrespectful i
insuffera6le: (pic#5261195)

(3/5)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
nquiry. Furthermore, making the implication that Jesus is our only focus is undermining our goal to teach children about accepting the faith. Though, with that
insuffera6le: (pic#5261193)

(4/5)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
all said, I'm doing fine, I've been writing you a letter but texting is faster in situations where I'm able to respond to you immediately. Imagine if I weren't
insuffera6le: (pic#5261196)

(5/5)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
in a rush right now, honestly...
hesthedj: (grin)

[personal profile] hesthedj 2013-03-30 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
Kankri, I took your virginity. You know me pretty well by now. I miss you, by the way.
insuffera6le: (pic#5261186)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[Kankri can't help the huff he snorts out. What, no hello?]

The fact that you assume that immediately when I call you before even giving me a greeting...

[He trails off, but he's not done at all; he just realizes that Dirk's right, it is sort of an emergency, and Kankri's voice hushes as if he's trying not to be heard.]

But yes, I guess you can call it that, since you seemed to deem it a medical emergency enough to warrant sexual harassment with dubious consent on my part. You, however, were acting out of concern for my wellbeing and I understand that but the fact still remains. That's--not exactly why I'm calling, my business with you is concerning the, er, methods you used in...you know.

[Kankri just stares down at his writhing bulge, trying his best not to touch it or accidentally apply pressure to it; his nook aches and is leaking very slightly, for now.]
insuffera6le: (pic#5261195)

(1/1)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
I was just informing you of something that could have been problematic to someone else, and could say the same of that text you just sent me. I
insuffera6le: (pic#5261194)

(1/2)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not used to this touchscreen, I hit SEND on accident, my apologies. But as I was saying, while I know you very well and visa-versa, as you associate the ide
insuffera6le: (pic#5261194)

(2/2)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
a of losing virginity with such, it doesn't hurt for me to spread a little information here and there so you can be better informed.
insuffera6le: (pic#5261192)

(1/1)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
I miss you, too.
insuffera6le: (pic#5261193)

(1/1)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
You're still okay with picking me up on the last day of camp, aren't you? Just you.
hesthedj: (sexy asshole)

(1/1)

[personal profile] hesthedj 2013-03-30 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
You knew me before that. Trust building happened first, if I remember correctly, sweetheart.
hesthedj: (kiss me)

(1/1)

[personal profile] hesthedj 2013-03-30 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Couldn't keep me away. I have a great deal of kisses for you.
adorabubbly: (♓ Want to c)(ange the world?)

From: DAV-E DAV-E DAV-E 2coolforSCHOOL

[personal profile] adorabubbly 2013-03-30 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
O)(! W)(ale t)(en, I t)(ink I feel a little B-ETA already! But Dave you )(ave NO ID---EA )(ow awful today was!!! 38(
I t)(ink I could reely use t)(e pick-me-up, so pick me up? 38D
insuffera6le: (pic#5261187)

(1/2)

[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, it did, and plenty of it. I believe I've gone into great detail before regarding how much our mutual trust and respect for one another means to me, and I a
insuffera6le: (pic#5261187)

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[personal profile] insuffera6le 2013-03-30 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
lso believe it is a sermon served better vocally so I pray you remember all of it.

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