cokeandwhiskey | The Hooker AU Meme, nabbed from bakerstreet

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The Hooker AU Meme, nabbed from bakerstreet

THE HOOKER AU MEME
CONTENT WARNING for prostitution, crime, dub- to non-con, kink.
	INSTRUCTIONS: 1 » Post a comment with your character's name and canon. 2 » Comment around to others and play threads! 3 » Use RNG if you get stuck for ideas.

WHERE? Where do you look for business?
1 » STREET »	You wait on the sidewalk, wink at the passing cars, dress yourself in revealing clothing and garish make-up. You don't cost much. Maybe you're desperate, or in debt, or your life fell apart. Maybe you're independent; maybe you have a pimp, and a quota to fill. Either way, you have to work hard for your living.
2 » HOUSE OF PLEASURE »	It's a good life, isn't it? You have a place to stay, a roof over your head. You don't even have to leave the House -- or perhaps you're not allowed to. You could have a good madame, or a harsh one; maybe you can pick your clientele, even. If you cater to a certain odd set of tastes, though, you might not have a choice at all.
3 » TEMPLE »	It is an act of worship, for you. Sex is about fertility, the giving and receiving of energy, a sacred act. When you bed another, it is for the benefit of you both.
4 » IN PRIVATE »	You're a call girl. An escort. You go to parties; you know how to speak the language of the rich and famous. You dress well, act confident, and know how to get what you want. You're a valuable companion, and they better be prepared to pay dearly for you, tonight.
5 » OTHER »	For anything else you can think of!

WHY? Why are you hiring this particular person?
1 » CURIOSITY »	Maybe you're bored, or you hav a little extra money to spend, and you're up for a little experimentation.
2 » SECRETS »	You need discretion; no one can know that you're cheating on your wife. Money is a good way to keep the both of you quiet.
3 » NEED »	There's a desire you have that you can't satisfy any other way. Maybe it's your sexual orientation that you don't want anyone to know. Maybe it's something darker.
4 » THEY MADE ME DO IT »	Some well-meaning friends, or business partners, have hired you a hooker for the evening. Better make the most of it.
5 » JUST THE SEX »	You don't want the hassle of a relationship. You get your needs take care of, and that's it.
6 » OTHER »	For anything else you can think of!

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[Cronus wouldn't call himself a pimp, not to anyone but maaaybe himself, but he sort of is to Mituna and he can't say it's a bad life decision. He pays for all of Mituna's medical bills, no sweat off his back, and Mituna sells himself to pay back a portion of the treatments. It works out, it has for a few months and he's never going to tire of coming all over and inside him at home where they both live. Together. Almost sort of like a couple.}

[Fuck, who's he kidding? Mituna wouldn't be anywhere near him like this unless he rigged all this up, and that's really Mituna's own damn fault as far as he sees. He could list many reasons pulled right out of his ass of how this whole could've been avoided, but that's insensitive to Mituna's medical needs and, as much as Cronus is actually fond of Kankri, the damn "social justice whistle" blares in his head against it. He's put his money on Stockholm Syndrome to throw him a bone this time, so that eventually maybe his feelings won't stay one-sided.]

[Also he picks Mituna up every night he works, uses up his gas but doesn't make him pay that back. The street is lit up with neon lights clouded by cigarette smoke, and clientele that swarm here are always in either nice blacked out cars or beat up pieces of shit, but either way they're slow-moving and Cronus zips around them something like a pro only he'd probably have an accident if he were in New York City traffic. He spots Mituna at his corner at pulls over to a stop, letting the engine run while he adjusts himself to stand on his feet. He whistles at Mituna, grinning and really can't help the thoughts of fucking him from creeping in.]

Ready to go? It's now or I'm leavin' you here for the night.

[He's teasing Mituna, but he'd mean that with just about everyone else. His mouth cocks into a smile as he holds out Mituna's bright yellow helmet for him to take. He has a car at home, but it rarely gets driven since Mituna started staying with him. Cronus is honestly just way more fond of having his best friend/"employed" hooker/love interest pressed against his back, arms wrapped snug around him, than sitting in two separate seats in a car where the physical contact takes effort on his own part. So, douchey custom motorcycle.]

[On the exceedingly long, growing list of things America shouldn't be doing with her time, this was probably an unforeseen topper. Having romantic and/or sexual relations with citizens was more taboo than against any "rules," because normal people died eventually and somewhere along the line of history it started getting weird for countries to be involved with not-countries. America constantly forgets that England was married to his queen, once, but she really doesn't care about whatever he does. As a young country herself, America hasn't really been in the "yeah that's okay" area ever, and her citizens are, well...a bit strict on sex and stuff.]

[Which she guesses is fine enough, freedom to do whatever and majority rule and all, but she has needs and the last time she hooked up with one of the guys at an international meeting it nearly broke a shit ton of treaties and stuff, so she plays it safe by...not doing anything. It's frustrating, she's frustrated, and getting some in DC is hard because her boss lives there and wow talk about awkward.]

[But even though she's the United States of America, she's also Emily F. Jones, and Emily Fucking Jones is a rebel and gets what she wants. A few months ago she went down to Texas (leave it to her baby girl to let her stay with no questions asked), decked herself out in citizen clothes (which weren't MUCH different from her normal clothes, just less "defining," in a way), and went out on the streets. She hasn't not picked up random guys from anywhere, but it's been far too long and sometimes she sorely misses the high-functioning sexuality of the 20's when no one cared and Lithuania lived with her. Oh well, the past was the past, and on the trip to Texas, she found A Boy and oh did she like him.]

[Dirk is literally pretty much everything she loves in a man, that is to summarizes as Not England Or France. He's a hooker, so what, she can't get STDs and the guy wears a fucking cowboy hat if she asks him to. He's perfect, and she's surprised she's been able to keep him a secret for as long as she has. Granted, it's only been about four times that she's bought him for a night, but she's her and she'd bet that if Texas didn't have more problems to deal with, she'd have caught on. But as it is, America, as Emily tonight, is practically prancing down the streets to Dirk's corner.]

[She spots him and waves at him, a big ol' grin spreading across her face.]

Dirk! Dirk, over here!

[America's told him her first name, but that's about it. While very few of her citizens know about her, she doesn't want to risk anything. If she got caught...ohhhh god she does not want to think of that. As much as she wants to bring Dirk home and kiss him everyday and dress up with him to go to parties, she can't and so he must remain as much a secret to D.C. as she is to him.]

[He walks by this place nearly everyday on his trek to McDonald's after his MWF classes, and it never looks like it does now. During the day and most hours of the night, it looks like a creepy old abandoned church of some non-Christian denomination. He's really not sure, and he has the worst faith in a higher power, so he's never really looked twice at it.]

[Detective Adventures with Hanna and the gang left them near that same McD's and Veser opted to just go home, fuck them, he was done for the night. He had homework he didn't plan to do and an empty room for the weekend to jack off in as much as he wanted without worry of interruption. His roomie was cool, but goddamn. So he's just on his way back from a different abandoned creepy place, and just passing by the normal one he walks past three times a week and exactly 12:00AM. Then the place changes.]

[Veser's seen some weird-ass shit in his life, but this really took the cake. He stares at the building, now new-looking and beautiful, and he feels like he's been moved to a different dimension, sort of. However that feels. He just doesn't feel like he's in Shitty HannaTown anymore, even though everything around the creepy-gone-radiant church is as shitty as it normally is. He looks around, just to see if any passerbys are seeing what he's seeing, but it doesn't seem like it. This is getting really fucking weird and if video games and being Hanna's friend has taught him anything, it's that exploring before moving on is a pretty damn good idea.]

[He's hesitant, still, as he pulls open one of the doors and hovers awkwardly in the doorway.]

[Research was key to preparing lectures, though he much preferred the kind of research that only required him to sit in a library and maybe interview a few people. Going somewhere was just a toe out of his comfort zone, but what must be done must be done, and his current topic says that it must be done. He just didn't really expect it to go so...smoothly? Could he even say that? He'll admit that he has mixed feelings on the commonplace existence of a whore house--trigger warning, slang--or, rather, a love hotel. He was raised in a house of monogamy and he never had a "partner" of any kind, himself. If anything, he should be happy that a place like this is accessible so easily, it promotes healthy sexual practices while also providing jobs to those who can't find jobs to fit their particular societal non-normative skill sets.]

[He just feels fucking weird sitting in a hotel room that smells nigh heavenly on a bed sprinkled with rose petals waiting for a boy he's requested. He made it clear to the front desk woman that he merely wanted to interview someone for a paper he was writing, but he's starting to think she thought he was making some kind of joke. It wouldn't be the first time, people tend to think he's joking, that there's no way he could be as serious as he is about all this. He's long gotten used to that sort of thing, though, and even bears the nickname Insufferable with a pride that's meant to be bulletproof.]

[Kankri pulls at his turtleneck and looks around for a thermostat. He feels a little hot under the collar, and with all the sexual denial he presses on himself it's clearly got more to do with the literal temperature than the tempting implications he's stewing in right now. If the boy doesn't take him seriously, either, then maybe it wouldn't hurt to indulge himself...no. No, that is the perfect example of how relationships and sex would distract him from his work and he will have none of that. But he does wonder if the boy will have dark or light hair, will he be thin or stocky, will he be--]

[He nearly jumps out of his skin when the door opens, and his heart beat starts to race from a pang of anxiety.]

[It's near silent in the temple, save for the soft sound of breathing and the hum of magic in the air. The floor is arranged in 13 rows of tiles, alternating between lines of black and lines of grey. In the very center is one line of pure white, and while the others have multiple people kneeling on their own individual tiles, facing away from from the door, this line is different. At the very front, a girl in her early 20s sits facing towards the door, thick, dull purple fabric tied around her eyes. It's the same fabric as the rest of her clothes, and, actually, everyone's clothes. The male and female outfits are identical, long flowing skirts and bare chests. The women's exposed breasts are shown with no hint of modesty or shame, and even those who look up when the door opens make no move to cover themselves. Each line of people has it's own face paint done utterly identical on each member of that line, and a different mask is hung on the wall at the front of each one. Only the white line down the middle of the room lacks a mask, and the girl at the front has only the fabric over her eyes. The whole place is lit with candles that hang, suspended by nothing, in the air throughout, thick enough in number that it's barely dim in the room. There are doorways at the front of each line, underneath the masks, seemingly marked by them as much as the lines are. The white line lacks one.]

[When the door opens, the girl at the front of the room smiles widely, seemingly to herself. She stands up and walks calmly over to the masks on the wall, choosing one that looks upsidedown and taking it from it's place. Without taking the fabric off of her eyes, she walks back to her line on the floor and crosses it to reach the doorway. She holds the mask to her chest and smiles, the tilt of her head making it seem as though she can see through the fabric over her eyes.]

Welcome, child of the Hanged Man, to the House of Shadows. I am the resident Fool, here to extend a hand to the new and the old to guide them in the ways of understanding the mystical reality they are a part of.

[She presses the mask into his hands, and once she's assured that he has a hold on it, she reaches up with one hand to pull the knot on her blindfold, which falls to the floor. Without it, her smile looks incredibly cheerful, reaching her now-visible eyes.]

Sorry for the cult induction speech. Hi! My name's Minako Arisato, and I'm sorta the high priestess around here. You've gotta have some magic to even get in here, so, don't by shy! Come in, come in, we haven't had a visitor in ages. You don't have to wear the mask, if you don't want.

[Dirk has been informed that this guy either has a sense of humor or is very uncomfortable with this whole deal, because he'd told Roxy, who was on desk duty tonight, that he didn't intend to actually do anything sexual with the person he was requesting. On both ideas, they'd decided to send Dirk in. He was good at keeping up with the ones who liked to banter and joke through things, and he was good with the ones who had no clue what they were doing. Jake, one of his regulars, started out as both.]

[He gets ready in the 'dressing room' upstairs, double-checking his hair, making sure his dorky tattoo is properly covered, pausing to help Nepeta apply disinfectant to some of Equius' whip lashes, brushing his teeth and changing into insanely tight pants and a button-up white shirt that he leaves the top four buttons open on. He waves goodbye to his friends and heads down to his room.]

[The guy on the bed is showing absolutely zero skin, and he looks about ready to burrow into the floor for safety. Okay, definitely the 'skittish and too afraid to let the receptionist know he needs a good dicking' type.]

Hey there.

[He smirks and glances over the upper ridges of his sunglasses.]

[Oh no. Oh no, he's attractive. They sent him a gorgeous human being and he thought he was okay with seeing attractive men, now, he could deal with porn without needing to use breathing exercises to make his erection go away. He's trained himself not to be aroused, or something like it, but he's never really seen someone like this guy in person before. It's an entirely different experience from watching videos or seeing pictures. Kankri is facing a breathing, in-person male who is apparently enough of "his type" to...well...]

[Kankri shoots to his feet and crosses the floor to him, gotta get to business and none of this messing around. He clears his throat, face flushed, and holds out his hand for a handshake.]

Hello, I'm Kankri Vantas, and... [oh boy, look at that chest, he's just barely above eye-level to it woah] and I'm here on account of a lecture I'm preparing that will stem from a paper I am currently working on, which I would appreciate your cooperation on via an interview I came here to conduct with a male employee. I've been assigned you, I take it, so I will trust their judgement on who they believe to be the most conversational. I'm going to ask you questions that are possibly invasive of your personal life, history, choices, sexuality, and general privacy, but you are more than allowed to keep what you will to yourself, I don't mean to pry until you're uncomfortable.

[Holy shit he can kind of see the outline of this guy's dick. Wait, why is he looking there? Oh god. Why did he think he could do this this is turning into a disaster in his mind, the man's eyes are up there, beyond the valley of defined chest and strong neck and wonderful jaw line and beneath...really dumb shades okay, but the whole trip up there has him pulling at the collar of his sweater a bit. He swallows thickly and gathers himself together, needing to address another issue before focusing on not combusting.]

...I'm not joking, by the way, so I would be grateful if we could skip over that part of the conversation.

[It's probably one of his least favorite parts, and it's obvious he's weary of it.]

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The Hooker AU Meme, nabbed from bakerstreet

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ASSUMING HUMANSTUCK BECAUSE MONOGAMY

I COULDN'T SLEEP SO I KANKRI'D