cokeandwhiskey | The Hooker AU Meme, nabbed from bakerstreet

THE HOOKER AU MEME
CONTENT WARNING for prostitution, crime, dub- to non-con, kink.
	INSTRUCTIONS: 1 » Post a comment with your character's name and canon. 2 » Comment around to others and play threads! 3 » Use RNG if you get stuck for ideas.

WHERE? Where do you look for business?
1 » STREET »	You wait on the sidewalk, wink at the passing cars, dress yourself in revealing clothing and garish make-up. You don't cost much. Maybe you're desperate, or in debt, or your life fell apart. Maybe you're independent; maybe you have a pimp, and a quota to fill. Either way, you have to work hard for your living.
2 » HOUSE OF PLEASURE »	It's a good life, isn't it? You have a place to stay, a roof over your head. You don't even have to leave the House -- or perhaps you're not allowed to. You could have a good madame, or a harsh one; maybe you can pick your clientele, even. If you cater to a certain odd set of tastes, though, you might not have a choice at all.
3 » TEMPLE »	It is an act of worship, for you. Sex is about fertility, the giving and receiving of energy, a sacred act. When you bed another, it is for the benefit of you both.
4 » IN PRIVATE »	You're a call girl. An escort. You go to parties; you know how to speak the language of the rich and famous. You dress well, act confident, and know how to get what you want. You're a valuable companion, and they better be prepared to pay dearly for you, tonight.
5 » OTHER »	For anything else you can think of!

WHY? Why are you hiring this particular person?
1 » CURIOSITY »	Maybe you're bored, or you hav a little extra money to spend, and you're up for a little experimentation.
2 » SECRETS »	You need discretion; no one can know that you're cheating on your wife. Money is a good way to keep the both of you quiet.
3 » NEED »	There's a desire you have that you can't satisfy any other way. Maybe it's your sexual orientation that you don't want anyone to know. Maybe it's something darker.
4 » THEY MADE ME DO IT »	Some well-meaning friends, or business partners, have hired you a hooker for the evening. Better make the most of it.
5 » JUST THE SEX »	You don't want the hassle of a relationship. You get your needs take care of, and that's it.
6 » OTHER »	For anything else you can think of!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dirk has been informed that this guy either has a sense of humor or is very uncomfortable with this whole deal, because he'd told Roxy, who was on desk duty tonight, that he didn't intend to actually do anything sexual with the person he was requesting. On both ideas, they'd decided to send Dirk in. He was good at keeping up with the ones who liked to banter and joke through things, and he was good with the ones who had no clue what they were doing. Jake, one of his regulars, started out as both.]

[He gets ready in the 'dressing room' upstairs, double-checking his hair, making sure his dorky tattoo is properly covered, pausing to help Nepeta apply disinfectant to some of Equius' whip lashes, brushing his teeth and changing into insanely tight pants and a button-up white shirt that he leaves the top four buttons open on. He waves goodbye to his friends and heads down to his room.]

[The guy on the bed is showing absolutely zero skin, and he looks about ready to burrow into the floor for safety. Okay, definitely the 'skittish and too afraid to let the receptionist know he needs a good dicking' type.]

Hey there.

[He smirks and glances over the upper ridges of his sunglasses.]

[Oh no. Oh no, he's attractive. They sent him a gorgeous human being and he thought he was okay with seeing attractive men, now, he could deal with porn without needing to use breathing exercises to make his erection go away. He's trained himself not to be aroused, or something like it, but he's never really seen someone like this guy in person before. It's an entirely different experience from watching videos or seeing pictures. Kankri is facing a breathing, in-person male who is apparently enough of "his type" to...well...]

[Kankri shoots to his feet and crosses the floor to him, gotta get to business and none of this messing around. He clears his throat, face flushed, and holds out his hand for a handshake.]

Hello, I'm Kankri Vantas, and... [oh boy, look at that chest, he's just barely above eye-level to it woah] and I'm here on account of a lecture I'm preparing that will stem from a paper I am currently working on, which I would appreciate your cooperation on via an interview I came here to conduct with a male employee. I've been assigned you, I take it, so I will trust their judgement on who they believe to be the most conversational. I'm going to ask you questions that are possibly invasive of your personal life, history, choices, sexuality, and general privacy, but you are more than allowed to keep what you will to yourself, I don't mean to pry until you're uncomfortable.

[Holy shit he can kind of see the outline of this guy's dick. Wait, why is he looking there? Oh god. Why did he think he could do this this is turning into a disaster in his mind, the man's eyes are up there, beyond the valley of defined chest and strong neck and wonderful jaw line and beneath...really dumb shades okay, but the whole trip up there has him pulling at the collar of his sweater a bit. He swallows thickly and gathers himself together, needing to address another issue before focusing on not combusting.]

...I'm not joking, by the way, so I would be grateful if we could skip over that part of the conversation.

[It's probably one of his least favorite parts, and it's obvious he's weary of it.]

The Hooker AU Meme, nabbed from bakerstreet

ASSUMING HUMANSTUCK BECAUSE MONOGAMY

I COULDN'T SLEEP SO I KANKRI'D