[It's so easy for Syrus to forget himself in Jaden. This has been true for a long time and in a lot of contexts, but never so much as when they're kissing. He just feels so safe, because the one and only good thing about his height is how easily Jaden can surround him like a security blanket. It's warm and affectionate and Jaden smells so good and Syrus notices the pleasurable tingles throughout his scalp just before a throb in his groin sends a little request for friction into his brain.]
[Oh no.]
[He'd been doing so well too. The last two times they'd snuggled into Jaden's bunk for some sleepy pre-bed making out, he'd actually managed to keep himself together enough to stay under control. But no, he has his stupid dumb teenaged boy hormones and his stupider dumber desire to just... press a little closer and rub himself against Jaden, because oh, it'd be so easy, and he's sure it would feel so good even though he's never actually had someone else's body heat against his crotch like that. It's such a stupid thing to fantasize about, everyone else has their sex dreams about blowjobs and fucking pretty girls, but no, Syrus wakes up sticky from hazy dreams about Jaden kissing his face and pressing an unmoving hand into his clothed erection. He wants Jaden to touch him so, so badly and he doesn't really need more than that, just warmth and acknowledgement and it's okay that you have sexual thoughts sometimes.]
[Because it doesn't feel okay. He shouldn't be allowed to look at someone and feel that little pang of longing, to wonder what they might look like with their clothes off or how nice it would be to have somebody else touch him, even platonically. He feels like he deserves to sit by himself, and the fact that Jaden wants to be his friend is still a gorgeous miracle, and that he wants to be his boyfriend is a gift from any number of gods working in tandem. Syrus feels unworthy of looking at girls in softcore porn, he certainly doesn't feel okay with how badly he wants someone as great as Jaden Yuki to get him off. He's small and useless and unattractive and a goddamn mess. He doesn't deserve it.]
[So he hides it, pulling his hips away from Jaden and laying awake for hours after his boyfriend has fallen asleep, even after his rebellious penis has calmed itself, burning from shame. Because Jaden would be disgusted, would send him out of his bed, would never want to kiss him again. Jaden is so oblivious to sex, that must be why he wants to be with Syrus. Somebody who is so completely not a sexual option that nobody would think it was weird that they didn't ever touch like that. And he'd be okay with that! He just... can't help but want it. It doesn't help that since moving into Jaden's bed, he's barely gotten the chance to jerk off. His little bottle of hand lotion is still stashed away under his pillow on his bunk, but he doesn't actually sleep up there anymore, and he's not about to get himself off in the public showers.]
[Which brings him to tonight, frantically jerking his hips back and away from Jaden, feeling the powerful urge to cry. He's so embarrassed and so horny and he's going to fuck everything up at this rate.]
JADEN (and Syrus) PLAYED TWIN LONG RODS IN ATTACK MODE
[Oh no.]
[He'd been doing so well too. The last two times they'd snuggled into Jaden's bunk for some sleepy pre-bed making out, he'd actually managed to keep himself together enough to stay under control. But no, he has his stupid dumb teenaged boy hormones and his stupider dumber desire to just... press a little closer and rub himself against Jaden, because oh, it'd be so easy, and he's sure it would feel so good even though he's never actually had someone else's body heat against his crotch like that. It's such a stupid thing to fantasize about, everyone else has their sex dreams about blowjobs and fucking pretty girls, but no, Syrus wakes up sticky from hazy dreams about Jaden kissing his face and pressing an unmoving hand into his clothed erection. He wants Jaden to touch him so, so badly and he doesn't really need more than that, just warmth and acknowledgement and it's okay that you have sexual thoughts sometimes.]
[Because it doesn't feel okay. He shouldn't be allowed to look at someone and feel that little pang of longing, to wonder what they might look like with their clothes off or how nice it would be to have somebody else touch him, even platonically. He feels like he deserves to sit by himself, and the fact that Jaden wants to be his friend is still a gorgeous miracle, and that he wants to be his boyfriend is a gift from any number of gods working in tandem. Syrus feels unworthy of looking at girls in softcore porn, he certainly doesn't feel okay with how badly he wants someone as great as Jaden Yuki to get him off. He's small and useless and unattractive and a goddamn mess. He doesn't deserve it.]
[So he hides it, pulling his hips away from Jaden and laying awake for hours after his boyfriend has fallen asleep, even after his rebellious penis has calmed itself, burning from shame. Because Jaden would be disgusted, would send him out of his bed, would never want to kiss him again. Jaden is so oblivious to sex, that must be why he wants to be with Syrus. Somebody who is so completely not a sexual option that nobody would think it was weird that they didn't ever touch like that. And he'd be okay with that! He just... can't help but want it. It doesn't help that since moving into Jaden's bed, he's barely gotten the chance to jerk off. His little bottle of hand lotion is still stashed away under his pillow on his bunk, but he doesn't actually sleep up there anymore, and he's not about to get himself off in the public showers.]
[Which brings him to tonight, frantically jerking his hips back and away from Jaden, feeling the powerful urge to cry. He's so embarrassed and so horny and he's going to fuck everything up at this rate.]