[Now, say what you want about Dirk's methods and how he interacts with people, but he does understand trolls fairly well. He'd dated Equius Zahhak, also known as the Centaur, for about a year a while back, his little brother was on and off with the crazy blind troll in their high school growing up, he'd attended Rose and Kanaya's commitment ceremony as Roxy's bro-date, and the amount of downtime he spends with the Helmsman and Redglare while they're waiting around on patrol is getting a tad ridiculous. He knows how troll sexuality works. And he's a fast learner of 'Kankri' as a language, so it doesn't take him long to put things together.]

[He's played enough denial games with Equius to know about the time of the month when that's not okay because of the levels of discomfort and distress it causes. It's not hard to put that together with the fact that he didn't see any troll heroes or villains out on last night's patrol and he understands why Kankri's got a pained undercurrent to his voice. He's also far from unobservant, he can see the movement under Kankri's pants, even if they are damn ridiculous. He's heard the Helmsman and Redglare discussing their sex life pretty damn candidly before, so he's aware of what red could mean.]

You're aware that the Centaur and I fucked like fancy Alternian hopbeasts all last year, right? I'm not going to get triggered by collection week.

[He shrugs lightly, still examining the look of discomfort on his coworker's face.]

And I'm not pissed either, dude, if you need to take a break to twist off, I get it, it's a biological thing. Just. Why the fuck are you doing it in the kitchen?